Paper, Rock, Scissors

Thought for the Day


I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can
beat scissors, but there's no f*cking way paper can beat rock. Paper is
supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile?

Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't Paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly Suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

I'll tell You Why--

BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that shit up
in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them
in the face with my already Clenched fist and say, "Oh sh*t, I'm sorry. I
thought that paper would protect you"